Maya Goo: February 2014

I have been spending a lot of time thinking this week. It's my schools February break. It's called Ski Week, but there hasn't really been enough snow to actually ski (not that I ski anyway). I went up to Tahoe with my friends and their families and we spent a lot of time relaxing, walking through the woods, eating food, and reading our respective IRB's for our english class. It was an amazing four days, somehow felt more fulfilling than if I had done the same thing at home.
Because I helped my friend set up a tumblr, I've also been spending a lot of time on tumblr, and after making a more personal text based tumblr, found some quotes about art and love that I really really relate to and love. They're all dispersed throughout this post. I relate to every one so much.

"I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art."

—Helena Bonham Carter

My friend gave me this Simpson's sweatshirt for my birthday and I'm literally so in love with it??? It's absolutely my style and perfect for how cold it's been recently.

I cleaned my room for a Fed Ex day my mom had us do this break. (I spent >5.5 hours cleaning/reorganizing and then another couple hours redecorating) Also, it's not my birthday, but I keep that sign up because it reminds me of the amazing surprise birthday party my friends threw for me in December.

My goofiest-sounding secret is that I also believe in magic. Sometimes I call it God and sometimes I call it light, and I believe in it because every now and then I read a really good book or hear a really good song or have a really good conversation with a friend and they seem to have some kind of shine to them. The list I keep of these moments in the back of my journal is comprised less of times when I was laughing or smiling and more of times when I felt like I could feel the colors in my eyes deepening from the display before me. Times in which I felt I was witnessing an all-encompassing representation of life driven by an understanding that, coincidence or not, our existence is a peculiar thing, and perhaps the greatest way to honor it is to just be human. To be happy AND sad, and everything else. And yeah, living is a pain, and I say I hate everyone and everything, and I don’t exude much enthusiasm when sandwiched between fluorescent lighting and vinyl flooring for six hours straight, and I will probably mumble a bunch about how much I wish I could sleep forever the next time I have to wake up at 6 AM. But make no mistake about it: I really do like living. I really, truly do.

—Tavi Gevinson

This gif is something I posted on tumblr a little while ago, when I again drew fake freckles. Trying to prove that I do know how to smile--I'm not always so sullen.

I’ve been thinking about art as a way of viewing the world. A way of observing, collecting, perceiving, and churning these independent musings into something visual.Fleeting observations are rather special, existing and ceasing to exist, without any projection of them. I’m finding importance in capturing the individuality of my perceptions. Almost a desperate need to acknowledge my existence-to make my observations into visual proof that I am here, existing, noticing and creating.

—Eryn

This break I also finished my journal! I'm very excited to start my newest one, and actually how this one turned out also. Here is a link to the instagram video I took of it.

"I'm struck by moments where it seems my surroundings have been carved out into some sort of personal globule. It's like a moment of self-awareness. I was walking away from school the other day, when no one was around; I wasn't having a particularly good day. I could hear the click of my shoes and the wind, and feel the sunshine on my face. I was abruptly aware of the absolute solitude of existence, and yet comforted by my own company. I will never exist anywhere besides my own head; in that way I am truly, eternally alone. I kind of like that. I don't know what to say about it other than it was a Moment, the kind I want to engrave in my memory for being equally perfect and melancholic. The kind of Moment that sparks in me the vividness of living, and lends clearance to thought."

--Eryn

More photos of my journal. The left is in progress embroidery.

"jaclcfrost:

there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say and do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine"

More tumblr photos of this great dress I got from the White Elephant Sale (I'll post better photos of it when I wear it to school probably)

Also!! I did this to my hair with Natalie and Ned! I feel like a mermaid :)

I hope you are all having a lovely week <3

Maya

This year is blowing by so fast--I feel like I can hardly take a breath. I'm madly trying to finish up my art concentration before May, trying to figure out my plans for this last summer with my high school friends, keeping up in classes, waiting to hear from colleges, and trying to spend as much time with my friends as possible before they all leave for college.

I'm graduating from high school in four months. I cannot believe how excited and afraid I am. Being split between the two emotions is possibly the worst feeling, because I want to be done with high school as soon as possible, but I also just want it to drag on forever. I'm in this terrible limbo of emotions that I can't escape now, but will be forced to in the next six months. How scary is that? I feel like my life sort of starts over after this summer ends. I'll be at a new school, where none of my friends will be, but I'll be learning about art: the thing I am most passionate about in the world. I'm so afraid though. I'm going to miss my friends like crazy. I cannot decide on an emotion. Is there a word for excited but terrified and nervous and sad, but ecstatic, but not wanting anything to change, but wanting everything to change?