Sunday, November 20, 2016

A Tender Hearted Artist & Artist Block

Again, it's been way too long since I last posted, but the good news is I have lots of great photos, inspiration, and anecdotes to share. The past few weeks have been difficult again; I've been struggling with feeling uninspired and like I can't do anything new or interesting. Basically what I was talking about in this post although the added anxiety of the election outcome and what the world will be like come January. 
 In terms of my artist block, I think it partially has to do with the classes I'm taking. I only have two studio classes this semester (meaning only two classes where I am making things); a weaving class and a fashion class. While the fashion class is cool and I feel like I'm learning a lot, it's also really fast paced, and I feel like it's difficult to come up with ideas that I'm excited about so quickly. Throughout the last project, I changed my idea three times. I just felt so unsure of what I was doing. The final product turned out pretty good, but I'm still just not sure how I feel about it. I'm not sure if it's "me" or not. I still have a lot of thinking to do in order to figure out my fashion style, I think. I'm wondering if I should take some more design classes to get me to think more about what my style is. 
 I'm excited about my idea for our final project in that class: it's a zero waste pattern using sustainable/reused/recycled/salvaged fabrics. I'm going to use this giant bag of scraps and fabric that my aunt gave me a while ago to make a three piece outfit that I'm still working out the design of. I hope it goes well and I feel excited with the process and happy with the result. I can't wait to get started! I'm trying to spend more time designing and researching and coming up with ideas than I have in the past and hopefully that will help. 

The weaving class is also very interesting and I feel like I'm learning a lot, but again, I don't feel super excited about what I'm making right now. I really loved what I made for the last project (which I'll post about in my end of the semester wrap up post that I normally do) (also theres one photo of one of the pieces from the triptych in this post), but this next project I feel at a bit of a loss. Part of it (I think) is I'm just not sure what to do with my weavings. I have found it hard to make things that I feel have no use. I spoke to my classmate about this and she suggested that sometimes you have to make stuff even if you aren't sure what the use will be initially and the use will work itself out later. And maybe it will. Maybe I will work out how to include my next weaving into an item of clothing--maybe that would make me feel more fulfilled. 

 I did just sign up for my classes next semester and I hope the new classes will make me feel more inspired and happy about making things (although again I'm only taking two studio classes). And I'm just not sure yet. I'll write about the classes I've signed up for next time and update once they start after winter break. For now, take a look at what I've been making, inspired by, and wearing in the past few weeks. 
1. "tender hearted" shirts I printed with a shibori dress I dyed for my professor for an internship 2. me drinking coffee at school
1. recent outfit wearing a backpack I made 2. Louise Bourgious fabric quilt paintings
Pages from Louise Bourgeois fabric book "Ode à l'oubli".  "I had a flashback of something that never existed"

Bagel Breakfast with a 2 girls I'm in the process of working on a project with...I will post about this specifically soon
Recent design idea with the fabric I printed with my own design underneath. I love how the print turned out on this satin! Also "crust of salt" weaving from a series I made called "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" (This one is "Tears"). 
Alan Kaprow Happenings invitation

1. My friend Emma with one of my misprint tote bags (so cute) 2. necklaces my mom knitted for me with embroidery hoops on my wall
Hank Willis Thomas "We The People" quilt made from old prison uniforms at the Black Panther exhibit at the Oakland Museum (which is amazing)
My friend in her studio, working on a weaving she made

1. From "Sheila Hicks Weaving as Metaphor", a pair of darned socks 2. recent outfit
A study of color pallets, inspiration, and tests. 1. necklace my mom made me 2. scrap of fabric from the print from the last posts outfit 3. Weaving I wove recently to make into a bag 4. thinking and inspired by tears as always
1.  "Take Care Of" from the Nook Gallery, started by someone I go to school with, list written after the recent election. It's so important to TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE right now 
Quotes from Louise Bourgeois from the book "The Fabric Works"
"There is nothing except what you sense" Jenny Holzer Truisms, 1977-79
Ana Mendieta
"All things are delicately interconnected" Jenny Holzer, Truisms, 1977-79
 Jenny Holzer, Truisms, 1977-79

What do you do when you feel uninspired? What helps you get excited about making things? I'm really asking.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Thinking in Yellows

Hey there! Just posting a quick update on a project that I just finished: making a two piece and my first pants out of a fabric other than muslin!! Im super excited with the fit and look of this outfit!! I'm also just happy with the fact that I'm getting better at drawing something from my head, and turning it into reality. Also; merging my textiles with my fashion design since I printed this fabric myself last semester. It's the same print based on my grandma's broken plate design that I used for the jacket I made for her but in a different color way.  I'm really happy with how it turned out and it's so similar to the drawing which is always a great feeling.
 An in progress shot of a weaving with my journal planning for this 2 piece and the printed fabric on my fashion sketchbook in the corner. I posted this on my instagram to show how many YELLOW things I'm making at the moment. 
 My journal page sketch of the outfit with a swatch of the final fabric.

I love how it turned out! Really similar to how I imagined it! I forgot to get a back photo, but when I do I'll add it to this post, the back of the shirt is super cute (as you can see in the drawing (sort of) it ties up).

I'm gonna try to be better about posting even small posts like this in the future. (I say that every time but this time I mean it (I think)!!) It really doesn't take long and is a great positive procrastination tactic instead of just sitting and watching tv or doing nothing.


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Losing My Ability to Fly

It's been a few weeks since I started school again so I figured I should update with this with some photos from the first few weeks! I've been working on tons of projects, and feeling a bit overwhelmed. It can be so hard to just jumping back into creating stuff all the time on a deadline. I've never had a problem with making stuff that I likebefore but right now I'm actually really struggling. I'm trying to work past it and just keep working on things until I'm proud of them, but that can be difficult. In some ways it's good to have school to push me through the block, but in other ways I feel like maybe I just need a bit of time off from creating all the time. Like in Kiki's Delivery Service where she just goes out into the woods when she loses her magic. Like maybe I need that for a second. I'm not sure. I feel like I'm running out of ideas. But maybe I can just make art about how I'm running out of ideas.
I'm trying to inspire myself in different ways. I need to go to more museums and just unpack what kind of art makes me feel excited and gives me that bubbly stomach feeling.... I'm thinking so much about my practice that it's making it hard to do. Maybe I need to just stop thinking. I don't know! I have a lot of opposing thoughts. I need to think more. Or maybe less?
Right: Sheila Hicks
A jacket I finished for my sewing class. The construction wasn't amazing, and the best part was this embroidered rose/hand that I spent a million hours on. 
Left: Sheila Hicks
Planning/sketching flats for the jacket pictured above. Thinking about roses. 
Anna with a bag I made from one of my misprint fabrics (you can buy one here)
Process and planning of the rose embroidery
Doing homework in Zach's backyard on a towel because grass is itchy. I really really love red. 

I need to be better at updating this!! Also I need to be calm and take deep breaths. 

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Summer, Sun, and Short Hair

I was looking through my iPhoto and phone pics, and I just thought I was due for a little summery update post. I know I'm super infrequent and random about posting here but I really want to get back into posting semi-regularly and keeping updated on what's going on in my life/my style/my art. Basically I just want somewhere to dump all the million photos I take in my life and a way to document my art and outfits and just fun photos of my life events. I'm trying to figure out where this blog is going and what I want out of it. I saw Amanda Brohman's blog and realized I really miss outfit blogging, but also feel like that's just not me anymore, maybe?? I'm not sure... But this blog is so important to me and I like updating it, especially since it's sort of like my journals in it's documentation and I just can't say no to documentation you know? I love it.
One thing that Amanda Brohman did in her blog that I really liked was posting a list of things she's been into/interested in lately in her posts, which is very much in line with what I want to be doing with this blog, just keeping a continual documentation of things I'm up to/into so I'm gonna start doing a version of that here! I'm not sure if it will be every post or just every "Lately" post. 
Me in my oatmeal fragile shirt and a necklace Emily made for me  
The first day after I impulsively cut my hair! // Some of the tshirts I've been making, which you can purchase here
Shopping at thrift town taking selfies in the bathroom and in the dressing rooms in my favorite slip
A journal entry with magazine cutout "Feel Sorry" //  After I cut my bangs, but before I chopped the rest of my hair off
From the SFMOMA, someone tell me this artists name! I forgot to write it down
(Me and the work mannequin in a cute giant fake fur coat and the most amazing slip I own// Drawing in my journal of myself in a bed in my bed)
My bby Zach wearing super cute outfit in the vintage store I work at. // Redecorated this wall again
My friend Anna at a cafe we hung out at for a while
Selfie from work with my favourite slip and cutie lace up shoes // A super 70s outfit I wore to the Sutro Baths with a shirt that I made
An amazing slip jumpsuit I bought from my job and wore when I met Emily Payne from Project Runway! She just walked into the vintage store I worked at and she was so nice and I was so awkward and star struck! 
(A selfie in the bathtub one morning when the lighting was amazing and made me feel like I was in a movie // My tiny cutie scissors tattoo that I gave myself)

Reading: Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I'm reading it in tiny spurts that I hope will grow into longer spurts as I have more time when I quit my job and have the half an hour to an hour shuttle rides to the city every week when classes start. 
Creating: Series of handkerchiefs for "Text-tales" textiles show about crying that I'm excited to share! Also working on t-shrits, sewn shirts, and upcyled mens shirts for this craft sale I'm going to be a part of next week
Wanting: more time to make things, to go swimming, a new tattoo, to feel the creative journaling spark
Listening to: InvisibiliaThis American LifeBack Pocket by Vulfpeck
Wearing: mostly vintage, thrifted, or made by me or friends. I love being in an art environment where these things are possible for me. 
Excited About: next semester! I'm taking so many amazing classes that I'm so excited about, this craft show I'm a part of, all the art in my head that I've yet to create!
Crying About: Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, the countless lives lost and the racism in our country now and always, the environment and seeming inevitable destruction of the earth
Favourites: iced mochas sitting in a cafe reading or writing in my journal, my oatmeal colored fragile tshirt, all white outfits, bodies of water, the game "essence", the sun
Inspired By: the sun, the color red, a few favorite instagrams atm: 1, 2, 3, 4, salt, layers, (trying to be) spontaneous, 2017 Chanel Cruise Line, super worn t-shirts that become slightly see-through, art pieces that are series, things that go together

Some flowers from the farmers market and me modeling some 1970s sunglasses for my job's website
Me in another fragile shirt I made on a super cute sheer crop top // Accompanying my mom to her tattoo appointment // The full outfit with the sheer fragile top
Some more shirts I'm selling--I'm really into kids shirts as crop tops // Zach and some cute Miyazaki wall art
A journal entry from my road trip // Right after I gave myself the little scissors on my ankle
I got the cutest label maker and started immediately making journal entries about salt! // A cute house in the city
The most amazing cuties that I love at the Sutro Baths on such a beautiful day
List of inspirations // My grandma wearing the jacket I posted about in the last post! She loves it! She's worn it a few times now :') I'm so happy she likes it and it was right for her. 
Cutout journal entry self portrait // Salt journal entry self portrait (more label maker art)
Another shirt I made // The light at dinner with Zach when we went to the beach for the day
Me and a giant sunflower I got at the Farmers Market with my mom
Me modeling for my job in some amazing 1970s bellbottoms that I ended up buying...
More pictures of me in my slip jumpsuit and American Apparell red bra // Some flowers from the Botanical Garden's free day!
The same day I cut my hair looking like I'm about to cry and trying to figure out how to pull my hair back with it so short // Full denim outfit all the same color denim that I owned layered on top of each other
More photos of me and my best friend at the Sutro Baths
Natalie looking out at the ocean // Zach got a septum piercing and a buzzcut (that I did). Wearing another t-shirt I made for Zach's b-day!
Some pictures of me in an outfit I made (!!) at the Botanical Gardens on the free day :)
Me again in the Botanical Gardens being kissed by my girlfriend the sun!
Zach looking SO CUTE when we went to the Moma together
My friend Claire made the most fabulous and summery brunch

So many things are happening! I can't wait to update with more, my art, and this sale I'm doing next week! I'm nervous and excited for all the things to come